


i know it's hard sometimes

by PeriodicallyBleeding



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt but not really, Suicide Notes, based off a documentary i watched, i can't explain that without spoiling it so yea, i cried so hard i'm not even kidding it was sad but happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5049367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeriodicallyBleeding/pseuds/PeriodicallyBleeding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“it isn’t worth it, y’know.”</p><p> </p><p>Based off a documentary i watched a few months back called 'The Stranger on The Bridge', it was really uplifting and made me cry for like a solid 4 hours so yeah i wrote the tyler/josh version of it idk it's 4am and i'm sleep deprived.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know it's hard sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> yoyo i might turn this into a chaptered fic if it get's enough feedback? idk i'm really feeling this so yeah

tyler swallowed hard, vaguely aware of the faint flickering of his table lamp. he wrung his hands before picking the pen up shakily, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks before beginning to scribble hastily across the blank white paper.

**  
  
**

_dear...whoever, i guess. if you’re reading this, that means either you were too late or i left too early, who knows. it’s no one's fault, really. please don’t ever think it is. it’s no ones fault but my own, i’m weak. mom, if you’re reading this i just want you to know that i love you so much and i’ll miss you, i will. dad, if you’ve somehow found this then i only have one thing to say, don’t cry for me, you don’t deserve to. i’m sorry for this, i’m sorry for everything. don’t come looking for my body, you won’t find it, save yourself the grief._

__

_there’s not much else to say apart from….i’m sorry._

 

_\-  tyler_

**  
  
**

tyler narrowed his eyes at the paper, was it too harsh? too self pitying? too...pathetic? he didn’t really care, nothing would matter in a little while anyways. he grabbed his lyric book and shuffled through it one last time, letting out a small laugh here and there from how hypocritical he sounded. he always had a tendency to end his songs positively, it was almost contradictory to his life. he closed the book and set it down on top of the paper, before grabbing the pen again and scribbling on a sticky note. he stuck the note to the front of the lyric book, it read ‘everything i couldn’t tell you, i’m sorry.’

tyler scraped his chair back and stood up, taking one last look around his bleak apartment before heading for the door.

\--------

**  
  
**

the cold air bit at tyler’s face as he walked up the streets, the snow beneath his feet from an early winter crunching with every step he took. he let out a shaky breath, his mind working at a million miles per second, every single thought having something to do with the fact in a few minutes time he won’t be here anymore. but it didn’t even scare him. the city lights were shining but it was eerily quiet, it was around 2am now, so he was thankful for the peace. he momentarily tore his gaze from the white blanketed pathway below him in time to spot it.

the bridge.

he felt his stomach twist, this was it. the end to...everything, really. the ending of his misery, the ending of his 4am thoughts and nights spent mentally bleeding out onto pages and physically bleeding out onto bathroom sinks. the ending of all the days he went over the same mundane phone calls with his family where he lied through his teeth (are you okay, tyler?) (i’m fine, trust me i am.) the ending to nights he curled up in bed, the monsters enveloping him in shadows of hushed whispers and voices that screamed at him that he was no less than a speck of dust in this universe. the ending to the days he would stare at the ceiling, eyes heavy from the night before and his heart and soul even heavier. he didn’t care that it was the end, though. the misery mixed with determination outweighed the fear.

he kept his head down as he walked to the center of the large bridge, his fingertips trailing lightly along the railing. he came to a stop and glanced around, there were few people driving this late at night and also because of the weather, so he was thankful. not that they would give a fuck about him, anyways. with another broken breath he carefully stepped over the railing, his fingers clinging onto it as he landed on the very narrow ledge that lay beneath. he leaned back against it and took a second to inhale his surroundings, the icy water below him crashed and turned and screamed at him, the way the waves churned almost invitingly gave him a strange sense of warmth.

he was going home, finally.

he let his eyes slip shut, and slowly...ever so slowly, he let his fingers uncurl from the railing.

 

this was it….

 

until…

 

“it isn’t worth it, y’know.”

 

tyler snapped his eyes open with a jolt, his hands returning to the railings and clinging on. he turned around carefully and was met with a man standing on the pathway of the bridge. the man looked...sympathetic? scared? tyler wasn’t quite sure, he was more confused as to the fact that a stranger actually noticed him.

“what?” he narrowed his eyes, the man bit his lip, gesturing out to the water.

“it isn’t worth it, killing yourself.”

“i wasn’t going to kill myself.” tyler lied, feeling his stomach twist at how blunt this stranger was, why did he care?

“i’m not an idiot.” now it was the stranger’s turn to narrow his eyes, “i know what you were going to do, just….think it through, yeah?”

“i don’t want to think.” tyler retaliated almost instantly, his voice starting to drip venom now. the man let out a sigh, running a hand through his snowflake littered blue hair. he looked like he was scrambling to find the right words to make tyler reconsider, or maybe that was just tyler’s rational side looking for any shred of hope it could find.

“i’m josh.” the man smiled, suddenly changing the subject. he extended his hand slowly, “what’s your name?”

tyler looked at the man's hand with furrowed brows, wondering why he was even still talking to this man.

“i’m tyler.” he cautiously took the man’s hand to shake, then, it all happened at once.

josh tightened his grip on tyler’s hand and yanked him back over the railing, tyler let out a cry and struggled with him as they both fell to the snowy pathway, yelling and screaming a string of curses and about how he ‘needed to leave’ and ‘he couldn’t do this anymore’.

“hey, hey, look at me.” josh jolted his head out of the way as tyler flailed at him, his entire body shaking from the sudden wave of sobs that hit him. “please, just look at me.”

tyler swallowed hard, blinking the tears out of his eyes as he forced himself to look at him. “please let me leave.” his voice was barely a whisper, his throat raw from crying and screaming so much.

“listen to me.” josh grabbed tyler’s shoulders, ducking his head to look him in the eyes, “i know you want to leave, i know. i know stuff seems hard and you feel like there’s no way out and this seems cliché but it’s fucking worth it to fight, you have to fight, please.” his voice was serious but had a pleading undertone to it.

tyler let out another sob, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. he gave a weak nod, still quite confused as to why he was letting a complete stranger give him a motivational speech at 2am on a deserted bridge. but, josh had a point. tyler actually felt a sense of comfort come over him at the fact that someone he doesn’t even know wants to help him, someone who could’ve just as easily walked straight by him and ignored him.

“promise?” josh raised an eyebrow, tyler nodded once again, sniffling as he gave very weak smile.

“gimme your phone.” josh wiggled his fingers, tyler gave him a confused look before pulling out his phone and hesitantly handing it to him. he watched as josh clicked away at the screen before handing it back to him with another soft smile.

“if you ever feel like this again, i put my number in there.” he gestured to the phone, “and i know what you’re thinking, but i didn’t just save you to try and score a date or something, i put a few suicide hotline numbers in there too if you don’t want to call me.”

tyler listened intently, nodding meekly. josh stood up from the ground and helped tyler up to, suddenly pulling him in for a hug.

“it really isn’t worth it, okay?” he tightened his arms, tyler felt something he hadn’t felt in awhile...content.

“thank you.” tyler whispered shyly as they broke apart, josh simply shrugged. he watched as he turned on his heel, flashing tyler one last smile before walking away.

“wait, uh.” tyler raised his voice, figuring he may as well ask. “why did you help me? i’m a stranger.” he cocked his head.

 

josh let out a sigh, turning to face tyler. he said one last thing before walking away.

 

 

“i actually came here tonight for the same reason you did, but i saw you and figured helping someone would help me do some good for once and find a reason to live...and it did.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> i know i'm just a cliché ass fic writer but if you're reading this and ever feel shitty or anything always remember there's so many people here for you including myself, so yeah, never forget you're not alone in this.


End file.
